you took me to the ocean
we sunk into the sand
wrapped up in sunlight
and each others hands
you held me up real close to you
i couldnt find something to say
i took your hand instead to lead you
easily over sand dunes
and carefully through cracked sea shells
you stopped us where the waves barely reach our toes
as they lap up onto the shore
i thought you already knew of my intentions
i must have been mistaken
because when i asked you to join me
(Lets wade into the deep)
i watched you stiffen all around
i swear your eyes seemed silent
“the tide is too rough
the waves are going to break on us,
we will tumble underwater
and scrape our knees on rocks and shells!”
(i thought this is what we came here for?)
“im just not ready to swim with you
please dont take that the wrong way
i planned on swimming too
but ive decided its just not safe
im going to stay here in the sand
and wait for you to sit with me
but if you insist on going without me
you know i wont be able to stop you
but i don’t want to watch you in pain”
(fine, okay, i can wait)
my body was tossed all around
like you said it would be
​(at least one underwater somersault
​with every wave that pushed me down)
i discovered new abrasions on my legs
as the salt seeped in and burned raw skin.
some of the times when
i broke through to the surface for a breath
id look back to see if you were looking at me
and when you were i waved to you and smiled
you’d smile sweetly but you hardly moved at all.
​(your response made me wonder
​if you even knew the reason behind me waving
​maybe you just didn’t think much about it
​maybe you just didn’t care enough to try to add sense to it)
i tried changing your mind
and prove i was having fun
and not getting hurt too bad at all
​(maybe i just think too much about this)
i tried but couldnt find a reason to give up
my hopes of you joining me
swimming in circles
waiting for you to take a chance for me
​(i know there’s something inside of you that wants to take this chance)
while i waited i grew weary and weak
i became delirious but i did notice
the high tide roll in
i felt Fear grow back inside my chest
​(where are you, why?)
i tried swimming back, but the
ocean blue would not let me
she held me in her big waving hands
she wasnt about to give me back
just like that
​(if i told you i tried my hardest to save myself
​i would be lying to your face
​i wanted so badly to sit with you in the sand again
​but i still wanted my chance to swim with you)
i pictured your face close up behind my eyelids
i blindly reached out
looking to grab your hands
while saltwater filled my lungs
i heard you scream my name somewhere
and it brought a smile to my lips
just before i let myself sink the deepest down
between you and the sky
​(maybe i dont know as much as i thought i knew
about whats inside of you
please dont be mistaken
i havent lost any hope
im going to stay here in my watery grave
and wait for you to swim beside me in the sea
but if you must go without me
you know i wont be able to stop you
i just dont want to see you afraid)

​
​